Posted by: Mark | March 15, 2010

Why we are adopting

One of the big questions we have been asked since we have decided to adopt has been why. We have been asked it by parents and friends and also by other officials as we have talked through the process here. Why, when you can have your own children are you choosing to adopt?

I do not have a problem with anyone asking me this at any time but I thought I would take an opportunity to write an answer to that question from my perspective. Maybe Louise can write from her perspective at a later date.

Louise and I have talked about adoption for quite a while. Living where we live with the people we live with adoption is very much a reality and international adoption just as much so. It appears that on the big landmass on the west side of the atlantic it is much more common than on our little side. However, it was something that was on the “we should do this someday” pile and probably was going to stay there.

Around the start of this year we decided as a couple that we had a lot of big decision ahead of us and that we should pray together in the evenings so that God could speak to us and reveal His will. The things in our mind were to do with furloughs and children’s education – not adoption. We prayed together for several weeks, and as has happened before in our life, God revealed to us His plan which was not identical to our plan. He did answer our questions but not with the answer we were expecting.

After about a month of praying together I realized in my heart that I had a strong desire to adopt a child now. For anyone that knows me (especially those close to me here) knows that I was not exactly pro the idea of expanding our family. My standing comment was that 2 kids was plenty to handle. Well I guess God had different plans – and who am I to stand in His way. As these feelings and thoughts grew in my mind and heart it started to come up in conversation between Louise and I. It turns out that God was not working in my life only but also in Louise’s. This thrilled me as one of the things we had been praying is that God would lead us together. We then added this to our prayers pleading with God to confirm it or remove the feelings and thoughts. As time passed we only felt stronger that this was the correct path to walk down.

As I reflect on it now and wonder what reasons I would have to do this I come up with the following:

  • I love being a father and having three kids in our family sounds like a great idea.
  • The ability to give someone a chance in their life which they would never have had before is very much in tune with what God has called us to do
  • God has a heart for children and orphans (James 1.27)
  • I strongly feel God leading me in this way

As to why we want a girl. When I thought what I would like to make our family fuller I thought a girl would fit best into the current dynamics. Louise I believe didn’t have a preference. However, we took this a step further to help us in our thought process. We explained to both Ewan and Lydia what we were thinking of doing and how we could help a child in this way (which has produced a whole ream of questions from Ewan about mums leaving children etc) and asked them if they would prefer a sister or a brother. Almost immediately they both said a sister. This didn’t surprise us as Ewan loves being a big brother and a protector for Lydia and Lydia is just one of those girls who to have a sister would be a great thing. It fits their personalities.

I hope this answers the question of why to those who are interested. If you know my please feel free to ask me anything else.

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Responses

  1. We are praying for you all.
    Daniel and Abigail pray often for you themselves, and Benaiah- well he’s just a wee bit young yet- 5 weeks until he’s 1 year old!
    May God bless you in this important step; we were involved here with fostering for a while and as the Lord leads we may go back to it in a future season in our lives; it’s good to help those in need. The grace of compasson is never untimely.

  2. You four have SO much love in EACH of you that it is just AWESOME to bring another child into your family. I am SO chuffed for the four of you and am mega excited about hearing more about your beautiful addition. May God continue not just to bless you, but to use you in that wee person’s life. Sending you all much love.


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